Illusions of Pride
by phoenixtears07
Summary: Semi AU. The line between comrade and enemy can be rather blurry at times, as Kanda well knows. After all, he's used to walking that precarious line between good and evil. Yullen DISCONTINUED!
1. Chapter 1

I really should stop making new stories and work on my other ones, but this was originally supposed to be my first D. Gray Man fic. I had some trouble with it though until I was able to fix whatever bothered me about it.

If you're not caught up with the current chapters…well, there's a ton of spoilers.

Warnings: a boy will eventually hook up with another boy and they will do things together that should normally be done between a boy and a girl, language (as usual…I can't write Kanda without a filthy vocabulary), and that should be all unless there needs to be a warning about mentions of dead bodies…then there are some of those

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray Man. Never have, never will…according to my pessimistic ways of thinking at least. Too bad I don't have an optimistic way of thinking.

--

Chapter 1

A small figure sat on the railing, legs swinging back and forth all the while watching crimson liquid drip off the balcony of the now lifeless mansion. A malicious grin painted on his face. He sat facing the magnificent garden in the spacious backyard reveling in his sinful deeds.

_**More. More and more blood.**_

'Yeah, yeah. I hear you but Hakushaku-sama will be mad if I kill too many people at one time.'

The whispering voice that only he could hear reluctantly quieted. For now at least. It would demand him to spill more blood later. He looked up at the star-studded sky. It would be a full moon in a few days time.

Arms suddenly embraced him in a bear hug, cutting off his air supply and inciting his temper.

"There you are! I've been looking and calling for you for hours now, and you were here all this time. You're so mean to your papa…but you're still my favorite son!"

His eye twitched slightly in annoyance. "Cyril. I'm not your son and I never will be."

Cyril's response was to tighten his arms around the smaller body. "Of course you're my son! All the paperwork I spent so much time drawing up says so."

He struggled to get out of the Noah's grasp. "Let go of me, bastard. You're insane."

Cyril started cuddling instead, gushing about how proud he was of his "son." He was halfway through praising the smaller one when a fist struck the back of his head. The Noah yelped and loosened his grip.

The small figure escaped Cyril's clutches and ran to hide behind his rescuer.

The eccentric Noah looked up and brightened when he recognized his attacker. "Tyki! Little brother! What are you doing here?"

Tyki Mikk smiled benignly. "I'm here to make sure you don't kill him, Cyril. It seems I arrived just in time."

Cyril pouted. "Hmph. Why would I kill my cute, adorable, wonderfully amazing only son?" He smiled to the one hiding behind Tyki. "Come to papa! I'll protect you from my mean younger brother, then we'll go home to see your cute sister."

Tyki sweadropped and looked down when he felt a tug on his shirt. "Yes?"

"Can I push him off the balcony?"

Fighting back a smile, Tyki shook his head. "I don't think the Earl will be very happy if you did that."

"I bet Hakushaku-sama will be happier if I did."

Tyki lost the battle and chuckled. "Probably. But despite how annoying Cyril can be, he's still a member of the family."

The small figure shifted to stand beside Tyki, and the light fell upon his features. A boy looking no older than ten years of age. Tanned skin. Golden eyes. Black shoulder length hair. Seven crosses lined across his forehead.

The young Noah settled his piercing gaze onto Cyril, who was now rambling about his daughter. "So, I can't kill him because family is important, right? At least, that's what Road-nee-san said."

Tyki placed a hand on the smaller one's head. "Exactly."

"Then, what about the Fourteenth? If family is so important, why did he betray us?"

The Noah of Pleasure had no answer. Instead, he motioned to the bodies piled on the balcony and in the spacious ballroom behind them. "I'll have some akuma come and clean this up. You made quite a mess."

"…I was having fun."

Tyki glanced around. "It looked like fun. Let's go. The Earl is waiting."

--

The Millennium Earl's grin widened when the three Noah stepped into the room via one of Road's doors.

Road squealed upon their arrival and launched herself at the youngest Noah. The boy managed to keep his balance but lost his footing when Cyril decided to join in on the "family hug."

The Earl watched with amusement. "Now, now. You don't want to suffocate the poor boy, do you?"

Cyril and Road reluctantly released the young Noah, who began to gasp for air. Once his breathing stabilized, he bowed to the Earl. "Hakushaku-sama."

Road giggled. "You don't have to be so formal. We're all family here."

Tyki cleared his throat. "And dinner is getting cold, so let's sit down and enjoy the meal."

The boy ended up sitting between Road and Cyril, much to his displeasure. Especially when Cyril tried to hand feed him. The Earl didn't even blink when the boy attempted to strangle the older Noah next to him.

The Noah of Pleasure smiled. "Road doesn't mind when Cyril coddles her but you, on the other hand…too much pride can be a bad thing, you know."

Road grinned. "Well, what do you expect, Uncle Tyki? It's his nature."

The Millennium Earl chuckled. "The Pride of Noah cannot be brought down so easily. Don't you agree, Yuu Kanda?"

Noah's Pride didn't answer, but his golden eyes gleamed with silent amusement.

--

When dinner was finished and the akuma servants had cleared the table, Cyril took the opportunity to pounce on Kanda again. "Yuu! When are you going to come and live with Road and me? We can even change your name. Yuu Camelot. It has a nice ring doesn't it?"

Kanda grimaced and he could have sworn he saw Tyki shudder in his peripheral vision. "No, it doesn't. Call me that ever again and I'll kill you, family or not."

Unfortunately, Cyril started sobbing. "Yuu! Your cold attitude and cruel words make me so proud. You really _are_ my son! It makes me want to…to…"

"Jump off a cliff? One with sharp rocks at the bottom?"

The Millennium Earl interrupted before Cyril could become any more melodramatic. "Yuu-pon. Come with me. I have a mission for you."

Kanda turned his attention to the Earl. "A mission?"

A nod was the only response. The young Noah shook off Cyril and followed the Earl through the dark mansion. They entered a room filled with telephones and an armchair. Kanda stood in front of the chair while his master made himself comfortable.

"Yuu-pon." The Earl noticed the Noah twitch at the nickname. "Ever since the Fourteenth's betrayal a month ago, I have been unable to find the one who carries the player's requirement. I believe it may be Cross Marian since he had contact with 14th, but it is not a guarantee. I would like for you to infiltrate the Dark Order and stay in their ranks until the one carrying the requirement appears."

"If I find him, what do I do with him?"

"We will see when we get there. Depending on the situation, we may either use him or kill him."

"And the fact that I'm a Noah?"

"There is a spell that can make you appear human by suppressing your Noah aura. You can still call upon your Noah form and abilities, but doing so will shorten the duration of the spell."

"What is this spell called?"

"The Lotus Enchantment. The spell weakens with every petal that falls. It will heal even the most grievous of wounds but the rate of healing will eventually slow down. On the other hand, you will be able to use Innocence. I have a special one for you to use, one that will not react to your Noah genes."

Kanda grimaced at the thought of having to use Innocence. "How long will this mission last?"

"Until you find the one who inherited the Fourteenth's will or until the spell wears off."

Swallowing any complaints, the young Noah nodded. "When do I start?"

"The spell must be cast under a full moon. A few days should give you enough time to get ready and for me to obtain the necessary sacrifices."

Kanda blinked. "Sacrifices?"

The wide grin darkened with malicious glee. "The lotus has thirteen petals, so that number of sacrifices will be needed. In essence, you will have thirteen lives to use before the spell wears off."

--

A few days later, the Millennium Earl cast the spell, and Kanda was unceremoniously dumped in the middle of nowhere…after Tyki was able to pry Cyril off of the young Noah.

Kanda stood and brushed the dirt off his clothes. "I hate this mission already."

The advice from the Earl echoed in his mind. _With your aura suppressed, the akuma will not recognize you as a Noah and attack. If you want to command them, you have to call upon your Noah form. Road will open her door near one of the exorcist Generals. Have fun, Yuu-pon!_

His eye twitched. He really hated that stupid nickname the Earl used. Kanda glanced at the Innocence imbued sword given to him, and felt only hatred towards it.

_**Destroy it.**_

'After this mission is over. I can't believe Hakushaku-sama named the fucking thing.'

He looked around. What the hell is a General doing in the middle of the woods? Annoyed with the entire situation, Kanda bent to pick up the suitcase containing some clothes and the lotus hourglass. He reluctantly strapped Mugen to his waist and began walking in a random direction.

Not fifteen minutes later, he heard screams and gunshots. He quickened his pace and came upon an interesting scene. Several level ones were attacking a small village.

He would have left the humans to their deaths if not for the Innocence sword. It began to shake in its sheath, reacting to the presence of akuma.

Kanda gritted his teeth but drew the sword anyway. He was going to be an exorcist, and he was going to have to destroy the Earl's creations using Innocence sooner or later. Once the Black Order recognized him as an official exorcist, he would not have the luxury of merely ordering the akuma to self-destruct. As much as he hated and resented Innocence, he was going to have to depend on it until the end of his mission. He would not fail the Earl. His pride would never allow that.

_**Pride cometh before the fall.**_

A grim smile curled his lips. "They will be the ones to fall before me."

He stepped out from the line of trees and into the akumas' line of sight. They turned to him, sensing the Innocence.

--

Kanda panted. Things were not going as planned. He had never handled a sword before, and it felt foreign in his hand. His movements became more awkward and it was taking more effort to dodge the bullets.

He got out of the way in time to avoid another rain of blood bullets, kicking up a wave of dust.

The boy glared at the Innocence in his hands. 'Damn it. _You_ wanted me to fight the akuma, and now you're practically useless. I hate you and I'm sure you hate me just as much, but either help me destroy them or I'll order self-destruction.'

Suddenly, Mugen glowed. His left hand moved and slid two fingers up the length of the black blade turning the edge silver.

Words came to mind and he spoke them without a second thought. "Innocence invocation. Kaichū: Ichigen."

A wave of insect-like creature formed and set about destroying the akuma.

Kanda blinked a few times. A little awed despite himself. His tired legs finally gave out and he fell to the ground, breathing a sigh of relief.

Clapping drew his attention to three people walking towards him. An old man with frizzy gray hair. A large man wearing something on his ears. And the last was near his age and was casually kicking a bell. They wore coats depicting the Rose Cross. Exorcists. And one was a General.

_**Can we kill them?**_

'Later.'

The old man was the one clapping. "Wonderful. That was a very inspiring fight. Where did you get that sword?"

Kanda frowned and used the false story he thought up beforehand. "It's a family heirloom. I'm not giving it to you."

The smile never left the man's face. "I would never dream of it, but that sword is very special. It contains something called Innocence. Exorcists use it to destroy akuma."

Annoyed but forced to hide it, Kanda feigned ignorance. "Innocence? Exorcists? What are you talking about, old man?"

"Ah, how rude of me. My name is Froi Tiedoll. And well, Innocence is an unknown substance used to destroy akuma, the things you just defeated. Exorcists are people who have the ability to synchronize with Innocence."

The boy resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "What does this have to do with me?"

"You can synchronize with the Innocence in that sword, so you meet the necessary requirement. Would you like to become an exorcist?"

_**No.**_

Kanda reluctantly nodded. "…I guess."

At least something good would come out of this mission. He wouldn't have to deal with Cyril and his psychotic antics for a while. No more sudden suffocating hugs. He wouldn't be called "son." No more fucking bedtime stories. He was about ready to jump for joy.

"How exciting! I finally have a daughter to spoil!"

Kanda's horrified mind went blank.

_**Can we kill him now?**_

"I can dress you up in pretty gowns. I think blue would look very nice on you. Maybe pink?"

Then and there, Kanda decided that the old man will be the first exorcist he would have the pleasure of killing.

"I want to see your hair tied into pigtails."

And it would be a long, slow, painful death.

--

Eight years.

Eight long years he had spent serving his enemies in order to complete the Earl's mission.

Kanda patiently waited as the nurse bandaged his torso. He had just returned from a mission in Spain, and he was tired, hungry, and in dire need of a bath.

_**And blood. We haven't spilt human blood in so long.**_

'If you haven't noticed, we're in Headquarters. I can't kill anyone without suspicion. Once this mission is over though, we'll slaughter everyone here.'

Once the nurse finished, he stood and walked out, ignoring the protests. Shrugging on the exorcist coat, he opted for a bath first. Soba could wait a little while.

Halfway to his destination, the alarms started blaring.

"HE'S OUT!!!"

His eye twitched. Still, he turned and looked for a convenient exit. It had been over a month since he had killed anything besides akuma. This could be a good chance to take his frustration out on something living.

Kanda took the easy way out and exited through the window. Standing on the ledge, he saw a head of white hair.

'An old man?'

Looking a little more closely, he could make out a youthful face staring at him in surprise. Putting trivialities aside, he unsheathed Mugen. Now was the perfect chance to spill some blood.

"You've got some serious guts coming here alone."

The white haired boy held his hands up. "W-Wait a minute! There's been some kind of misunderstanding…"

Kanda leapt from the ledge before the stranger could finish his sentence, light glinting off of Mugen's black blade. The boy had a quick reaction, throwing his left arm up in defense.

The impact was odd. Kanda felt Mugen slice through something, but it hadn't been flesh. It was something harder.

The boy slid back from the force of the attack. With a little distance, Kanda saw that he had cut through a large white claw instead of a normal arm.

_**Innocence.**_

He frowned. Was it really Innocence? "Hey you…what's with that arm?"

The white haired boy looked wary but answered. "It's an anti-akuma weapon. I'm an exorcist."

Now annoyed, Kanda mentally sighed. 'Crap. I wanted to kill him, too.'

Playing his part, the dark haired teen allowed a flicker of surprise to cross his face. "What?"

Kanda glared at the gatekeeper. 'What a waste of my time.'

"GATEKEEPER!!"

The large face streaked with tears, much to the Noah's disgust, stumbled over a reply. "But well, you know…how am I supposed to tell if I can't see his insides? What are we going to do if he's an akuma?"

_**He's not.**_

'Well, the fucking gatekeeper doesn't know that…but I can use this to my advantage.'

He watched the boy run past to yell at the gatekeeper. "I'm human! Yeah, I may be a little cursed, but honest to God, I'm human!"

_**Is he really human? **_

Kanda sneered a little. "Hmph…no matter…we'll know once we see his insides. Anti-akuma weapon invocation! I'll tear you to shreds with my Mugen."

The boy was nearly panicking now as the blade drew closer and closer. "Wait! Seriously, hold on! I swear I'm not your enemy! Master Cross should have sent a letter of recommendation!"

The tip of the blade stopped mere millimeters away from skewering the boy. Kanda wasn't sure why he stopped. Wasn't sure if it was because of what the boy said or what his other half just whispered.

"Fa…From the General? A letter of recommendation?"

"Yes, a letter of recommendation…it was addressed to someone named Komui."

For the next few minutes, neither moved and even the gatekeeper was silent.

'Cross? He took a pupil? Could this brat hold the player's license?'

_**Perhaps. Do you want to kill him anyway?**_

'No…not yet. Not until we get permission from Hakushaku-sama. He'll live…for now.'

The gate started creaking open, capturing Kanda' attention.

-You are permitted to enter the castle…Allen Walker.-

Even if he was going to let the brat live a little longer, he wasn't going to allow his prey to traipse off without a good explanation. Kanda moved Mugen's tip closer to the boy's face.

-Wait! Wait! Kanda!-

"Komui…what's the meaning of this?"

-Sorry! We jumped to conclusions too soon. He's General Cross's pupil. Here…apologize, Section Leader Reever!- -DON'T MAKE IT SOUND LIKE IT'S MY FAULT!- -Anyway, Timcanpy is proof enough. He's one of us.-

_**One of us?**_

A clipboard smacked the side of Kanda's head before he could say anything else. He turned his glare to the annoying woman. She was another one he would relish killing one day.

"That's enough! We told you to cease your attack! Get in or we're closing the gates. Get in now!"

Kanda sheathed Mugen, ignoring his other half's graphic suggestions of what he could do to the Supervisor's sister. All were violent and involved her losing some body part or another.

'Shut up. I'll think of ways to torture her later. You're giving me a headache.'

He really wanted a bath right about now.

"Oh. Kanda…"

He stopped, his hand twitching towards Mugen. That boy needed to mind his own business.

"That's your name, right? Nice to meet you."

Kanda turned enough to glare at the new exorcist. He looked at the offered hand with undisguised distaste. "I won't shake hands with someone who's cursed."

He walked away without another word.

'Oi, about what you said earlier…the brat…are you sure?'

_**Yes. He is family.**_

--

I'll try to stick close to the manga until after Noah's Ark…Arc. (that is really awkward to say) Then the story will diverge. A lot.

Hakushaku- Japanese for Earl

YAY! Kanda's the bad guy!! And he thinks about killing people a lot…and he has an inner voice/other half/inner Noah kinda thing going on. LOL Yuu Camelot. That sounds so wrong…and creepy.

By the way, I have nothing against Lenalee. I don't hate her or anything like that. As a Noah, Kanda hates exorcists, whether they be male or female, so it makes sense that he would want to kill them.

Anyway…I have a problem with something. I have no idea what Kanda's Noah ability should be. I would be ecstatic to get a little help with this. So, suggestions anyone? And if you suggest something could you please explain the ability since I am unable to read minds. Believe me, I learned that the hard way. It's hard to play trust games without the ability to read minds, especially when your partner likes to make you walk into trees for the fun of it.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't think I'm making any other chapters this long.

This will be my last update for any of my fics until about mid-January. I have family coming over for the holiday, and they obviously expect me to entertain them at all times.

I love them. I really do. But I love my alone time just as much. Still, I won't have a chance to write anything until they leave…around mid-January. Coincidence?

Warnings: a boy will eventually hook up with another boy and they will do things together that should normally be done between a boy and a girl, language (as usual…I can't write Kanda without a filthy vocabulary), Kanda being evil, Kanda is a little bit OOC (maybe a lot but I couldn't help it), blood, death, seriously…it's Kanda being evil…bad things are bound to happen

Disclaimer: I'm not motivated enough to actually want to own something like D. Gray Man.

--

Chapter 2

'I hate humans. They're inferior, useless wastes of space.'

His other half agreed wholeheartedly…not that they really had a heart but it didn't matter. Kanda grimaced as the annoying finders behind him mourned the deaths of they're friends. "Shut up. Go whimper and cry elsewhere. Fucking weaklings."

A large finder jumped to his feet. "What did you say?!"

When he didn't answer, the finder took a threatening step forward. Kanda didn't bother to look at the annoyance, instead, he calmly placed his chopsticks down. "Shut up. You're ruining my appetite with your pointless memorial service behind me while I'm eating."

"How dare you speak like that about our fallen comrades. We finders risk our lives to support you exorcists in the field, and you're complaining about losing your appetite?"

The displacement of air warned him of the incoming attack. He leaned to the side, hearing the slight whistle of the fist harmlessly passing by his head. Kanda spun around and grabbed the finder's throat with a merciless grip. "Support us? Heh. That's all you can do. You're all merely rejects that weren't chosen by the Innocence. If you don't want to risk your worthless lives then leave. There are always replacements."

_**Crush his throat. Let him suffocate and slowly die. No one raises a hand to us.**_

He would have gladly done just that if not for a dark red hand suddenly gripping his wrist.

The white haired boy from last night gave a disapproving look. "I'm sorry to intrude, but that's not the way to talk to someone."

"Let go of me, Beansprout."

"Bean…My name's Allen."

Kanda smirked. "I'll remember that if you're still alive in a month." He turned his gaze to the nearly unconscious finder in his grip. "People around here die rather quickly."

The beansprout tightened his grip until Kanda was forced to release the finder. "I said that isn't the way to talk to someone."

The dark haired teen's eyes narrowed. "You're gonna die before your time, kid. I hate guys like you."

The boy pasted a polite smile on his face. "Why, thank you."

Kanda already hated that smile. It was obviously insincere, and right now, he wanted nothing more than to punch that fake smile off the other's pale face. It was undeniable, the spark of anger and growing irritation between the two of them. Though, he wouldn't call it hatred just yet.

"Kanda! Allen! Finish eating and go to the command room. You have a mission."

Reever continued on his way after giving the two exorcists an odd look.

Kanda gritted his teeth and turned away from the younger boy. Even his other half didn't say anything, unsure of how to deal with their supposed family member. He wanted to ask, wanted to know, but doing so may compromise his mission. So, he stayed silent but the question burned in his mind every time his eyes settled on the white haired boy.

'Are you my ally or my enemy?'

--

Looking down at the abandoned city of Mater, Kanda was not impressed. As far as he was concerned, it was just a bunch of buildings falling apart little by little. He cared little for architecture.

What had his attention, though, were the akuma attacking a barrier containing two figures, one of which had to be the famed Ghost of Mater. He looked at his mission partner. "Let me get one thing straight. If you hinder our mission, I won't save you even if you're about to get killed. I'm not your friend."

The beansprout turned away. "What a cruel thing to say."

Below them, an akuma kicked a finder, and the white haired boy attacked.

Kanda watched as the level two kicked the boy some distance away. He leapt down onto a rooftop. "Che. Idiot. Who the hell attacks without thinking of the consequences."

Activating Mugen, he destroyed the level ones shooting at the barrier. He looked at the half dead finder at his feet. "What's the disarm code for the talismans?"

The finder appeared relieved. "You've come, Exorcist."

"Hurry up and tell me the code. Do you want to die in vain?"

"It's 'have hope.'"

_**Then let's rip away his hope.**_

Kanda glanced at the beansprout. The akuma was keeping him occupied, and Toma was a little ways off. The doll and its companion were huddled together, not paying attention to anything but each other. Still, he positioned himself between the dying finder and the barrier. No one would see. He reached out to the finder, wrapping his fingers around the vulnerable throat. His eyes flashed gold drawing attention to the twisted grin on his face.

The human's eyes widened. "What are urk—"

A pool of blood quickly formed under the throat he just ripped open with his bare hand. A shudder went through him. A rush of adrenaline and pleasure. The thrill of the kill he could never get enough of. His other half practically purred.

He lifted his bloody hand to his lips, licking the crimson life giving fluid. He lingered over his kill for a moment before wiping his hand on the finder's clothes.

The akuma must have sensed his momentary lapse into his Noah form because it turned its attention towards him. Kanda disabled the talisman and grabbed the doll and the man with it. He spared a look back and his eyes met with silver. "I'm not helping you. Blame yourself for acting on your emotions. Clean up your own mess."

The boy nodded. "Fine. I don't have to worry if the Innocence is with you. I'll catch up later."

His other half snickered. _**He doesn't have to worry?**_

'…He's a moron.'

--

"Master Kanda."

He watched Toma turn the corner. Immediately, he recognized the familiar feel of dark matter radiating from the finder. 'The akuma.'

The "finder" held his hands out revealing small pile of broken gold pieces. "It's Timcanpy."

"Show me whatever you saw about that level two, Tim."

The golden pieces reformed into Cross's golem. Its mouth opened showing sharp teeth and formed a holographic image of the akuma. The image switched to a look alike of the beansprout.

Kanda studied the image. "A mirror opposite. The scar, the clothes, the weapon are all reversed. And it seems the akuma can utilize the original's abilities. Fucking beansprout, making everything more complicated."

He turned to speak to the doll. "Hey, you said something about an under…they…they ran off! Where the hell did they go?!"

"Sir Kanda. Look behind us."

The finder behind him had dark matter, which made it the akuma. The reversed version of the beansprout in front of him was definitely human. Kanda smirked. 'Heh. I get to kill two finders in the matter of a hour. Not bad.' He unleashed a wave of insect-like creatures towards the helpless finder.

A large white claw broke through the wall and blocked the creatures, much to Kanda's disappointment. The beansprout stumbled out.

Angry that he was denied his kill, Kanda glared at the white haired boy. "Beansprout! What the hell are you doing? Why did you defend it?"

"Kanda, I have an eye that can see the souls attached to akuma. He isn't an akuma. The finder behind you is!"

A claw similar to the beansprout's slammed him into a wall. "He he. My skin is a paper mirror. You fell right into my trap." The akuma slashed at Kanda, tearing a deep diagonal wound from hip to shoulder.

A grunt escaped from the pain. He could hear his own blood dripping onto the ground.

"DIE!"

Kanda smirked. "I'm not gonna die." Black spots entered his vision. "I can't die until I find that person." His wounds didn't feel all that painful. "I…" Everything went black.

--

He woke to pain. A lot of it. His torso felt as though it was on fire. Through the hazy film covering his mind, he heard a conversation. He recognized the beansprout's voice…and the doll's as well. He contented himself with staying still and listening, positive that he would only embarrass himself if he tried to get up right away.

"Please let me stay with him until the end. Let me be a doll until the end. Please!"

The beansprout was a bleeding heart, and would probably say yes. Kanda gritted his teeth. "No. We came here for the Innocence, so take that doll's heart now. We don't have the luxury of waiting for him to die."

Indecision played over the white haired exorcist's face. "…I can't. I'm sorry but I don't want to take it."

Kanda picked up the coat and threw it at the boy. "What did we come here for then?! That coat is worn by exorcists. It's not some fucking pillow for the wounded." He cautiously stood and walked towards the doll. "It takes sacrifice to save others, Moyashi." He held Mugen, prepared to take the Innocence and leave.

The doll's uncovered eye filled with fear.

"Then let me be it."

He paused when the sprout stepped in front of Mugen.

"Are you okay with me being the 'sacrifice?' They just want to die on their own terms. So until then, I won't take the Innocence from the doll. There won't be a problem if I destroy the akuma, right? A war built on sacrifices…it's just empty."

Kanda was furious. 'Does his life mean nothing to him?' He reacted without thinking, his fist smashing into the boy's cheek. He winced when his wound reopened, a wave of weakness brought him to his knees. The words fell from his lips. "You'd sacrifice yourself for others because you feel sorry for them? Don't you have anything dear to you?!"

"…What was dear to me I lost long ago. I'm not doing it because I feel sorry for them. I'm not trying to be noble either. I just…don't want to see that side of things. That's all. I'm just a human. My heart goes out to the things in front of me not the bigger picture. I want to protect them if I can!"

'This kid…'

--

Kanda mentally rolled his eyes as he listened to Komui drone on and on about being stuck in Headquarters while his subordinates complained in the background. He couldn't wait for this mission to finally be over.

-Where's Allen?-

"He's still with the doll in Mater."

-The doll…is it almost time?-

"Probably. It's not the same as before. It'll stop soon."

He pulled off all the bandages and shrugged on his shirt. He ignored the doctor trying to stop him. "Thanks for your services. Send the bill to them."

The doctor gaped at the retreating back. "The wound is gone…"

-It took a while to heal this time.-

"But it healed."

-It's taking longer though. Make sure you don't miscalculate what's left of your life.-

'Idiot. I won't miscalculate what's left of _your_ life. Once the last petal falls, I'm killing all of you.'

"What's the point of this call, Komui?"

-I called to tell you about your next mission.-

--

Kanda calmly climbed the steps towards the white haired boy. "Wake up, Moyashi! You're supposed to be guarding them."

The boy didn't look up. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be bedridden for five months."

"I'm healed."

"You're kidding me…"

"Shut up. Komui called. I'm going straight to my next mission. You take the Innocence beck to Headquarters."

"Okay."

Kanda glanced at the forlorn boy. "The doll isn't the same anymore. Go stop it if it's hard on you."

"They made a promise to each other. Guzol should be the one to stop Lala."

"Che. Bleeding heart. We're 'destroyers' not 'saviors.'"

The boy smiled. "I know that but…"

The lullaby filling the air abruptly stopped.

Kanda watched the boy cry over the broken doll. "What's wrong?"

"Kanda…even if I'm a destroyer, then I still want to be one who saves others."

--

Sitting in a first class cabin of a train heading towards Serbia, Kanda thought of the white haired boy.

_**You are thinking about him a lot.**_

'So? Is that a problem?'

_**Do you want to kill him?**_

'…When I first met him, yes, I wanted to kill him. But now, I'm not so sure. At least, I don't want to kill him right away.'

_**Why? He does not seem to be aware of the Noah genes within himself. It would not matter if you killed him or not. Are you waiting for Hakushaku-sama's permission?**_

'No…it's what he said earlier. Does his own life mean anything to him?'

_**That is not important.**_

'Perhaps not. But he is interesting, unlike all the other idiots in the Black Order.'

_**If you do not want to kill him, then what do you want?**_

His lips curved in a cruel smile.

--

He quickly spotted the finder in the crowded station. The same couldn't be said for the finder.

Kanda sighed. "Oi! Over here."

Relief flickered over the finder's face. "Hello. My name's Davyn. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir Exorcist."

The dark haired teen didn't bother to reply. He couldn't care less. "Where's the Innocence?"

"The Innocence is in a statue in a temple. It is not too far from here, but we may have to wait until tomorrow. A huge storm is about to hit the area. I have procured a small private cabin for us to stay to wait out the storm."

Kanda looked up at the angry dark clouds. The wind was quickly picking up. "How far is the cabin?"

"On the outskirts of this town. About a fifteen minute walk."

"Che. Let's go."

"Yes, sir."

--

Kanda took one look at the cabin and decided it would suffice. He wouldn't be spending much time in there anyway.

He looked around and spotted a phone. 'Good. I don't want to use anything connected to the Order to contact Hakushaku-sama.'

This was as good a time as any. Kanda turned his back to the finder lighting the fireplace and concentrated on calling upon his Noah form. He held his hand up and watched pale skin darken.

"Oi! How close is the nearest neighbor?"

"Umm…this is rural area so the closest neighbor is the farm we passed. About five minutes away, I think."

He grinned. "Good."

'Do you want to come out and play?'

_**I can kill the human?**_

'Yeah. Make it as bloody as you want. Just don't let him scream too loud. Don't want the neighbors to hear. I can make up an excuse for the finder's death but it would be a pain in the ass to make up excuses for anyone else.'

He pulled out the disconnected golem and crushed it in his hand. 'Toss this into the fireplace before you kill him. And make sure nothing happens to the phone. I'm not looking for another one if you break it.' With that, Kanda relinquished control, allowing his darker half a little freedom.

--

"Impressive. How did you draw the pentacle onto the ceiling with blood?"

His other half snickered and shared a few memories through their bond.

Kanda grimaced. 'I never would have thought of that.'

He looked at the phone and lifted an eyebrow. Blood was splattered all around it but not a single drop had landed on the phone.

He ignored the blood on the floor, on the walls and ceiling, on his clothes, streaked in his hair. All that mattered was getting to the phone and dialing a number.

Someone picked up after a few rings. -Hello?-

Kanda recognized the young childish voice of his elder sister. "Road-nee-san. It's me."

A small gasp. -Yuu! It's been soooo long! I've missed you lots.-

"I…have missed you as well. Can you open a doorway for me? I have something to report to Hakushaku-sama."

-Sure! Are you going to stay for dinner? I want to spend time with my little brother.-

"If you want me to."

-Yay! I'll open a door right now. Everyone's going to be so excited!-

Kanda bit back a sigh. Road was still the same. "I'm in Serbia."

It didn't take long for a red and black checkered open doorway to rise from the ground. A young girl with dark spiky hair jumped out and tackled him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He barely budged considering she was half his height now.

Road blinked a few times. "Wow…you're really tall now, Yuu."

His lips twitched upwards in a small smile. "It's been eight years. Shall we go? This place reeks of blood."

She looked around with a wide grin. "How many people did you kill?"

"One."

"I didn't know a human had so much blood."

"Same here."

Giggling, Road grabbed his hand and dragged him through the door. She then led him through the long corridors of the mansion to a room.

Kanda silently stood in the middle of the room while Road riffled through the spacious closet. There was no need for him to get blood everywhere.

With a triumphant cry, Road pulled out a dark European suit. She considered him for a moment. "This should fit you." Her gaze slid up. "Can I do your hair?"

He flinched slightly, remember what some of her previous dolls looked like after she did their hair. He did not want curls. "There's no need. I'll just take a bath to wash off the blood. How long before dinner?"

"Hmm…in about an hour. Are you sure you don't want me to do your hair? I can make it look really pretty."

"No, thank you, Road-nee-san. There's no need for me to take up your time."

She looked disappointed but quickly shook it off. Road smiled and hugged him again. "I really did miss you. I hope it won't be years before we see each other again."

Kanda merely nodded.

As much as they annoyed him at times, family was family. In their own twisted ways, they all loved each other. He didn't trust his voice at the moment because he genuinely wanted to return to this insane family, but he had a mission to finish. There was no guarantee that the mission wouldn't last for more years yet. He didn't want to make empty promises to Road. He didn't want to raise his own hopes. So, he stayed silent. As much as it pained him to see the sad look on his elder sister's face, he kept his mouth shut.

--

"Our little brother is all grown up."

Kanda growled at Tyki, who was currently wiping away tears. "Che. If you're going to fake tears, then don't grin while you're at it."

"Ah, but your harsh tongue is still the same. A pity really. You were such a sweet child."

"When the fuck was I ever—"

"YUU!!! My son has returned at last!"

Kanda stopped Cyril's advance with a fist to the older Noah's face.

Tyki smiled. "You _were_ sweet. Until you met Cyril, then you just became plain homicidal."

Cyril had recovered and was knocked down again this time with a foot to his face. Kanda scoffed and kicked the fallen Noah a few more times. Just because he could.

For dinner, Kanda managed to snag the seat between Tyki and the Millennium Earl. Cyril pouted at the other end of the table, mumbling something about sneaky little brothers.

Noah's Pride stared blankly at the object put before him. It was an egg. With a face drawn on it.

_**Is that dinner?**_

'…'

He cautiously poked at it with a spoon. He couldn't ever recall eating _this_ for dinner eight years ago.

Tyki chuckled. "Don't worry. It's edible."

"It ain't sweet. You piece of junk! I told you to make it sweet!"

Kanda watched a Noah he didn't know beat up the akuma. He sneered. "Who the hell is he?"

Noah's Pleasure sighed. "He's Skin Bolic. Noah's Wrath. Awakened three years ago. He hates anything that's not sweet. Complete opposite of you, huh?"

"Che. Sweet things are disgusting."

Skin stopped once the akuma was broken enough. "I'm outta here. I lost my appetite."

Road shook her head. "Calm down. It's been a while since the entire family's been together for a meal." Noah's Dream grinned at the one sitting at the head of the table. "Right, Duke Millennium?"

The Earl laughed. "We should be happy that Yuu-pon is here for a visit. It's been eight years."

The large Noah reluctantly sat down.

Kanda...reluctantly ate his egg, wondering if there was soba on the menu tonight. "Cross Marian's pupil showed up a little over a week ago. A cursed brat that goes by the name Allen Walker. He can see the akuma's soul."

Tyki grinned. "By your words, I'd venture to guess that you're not very fond of him?"

"Che. Fucking beansprout."

The Earl nodded. "I have already met Allen Walker. He may prove to be an annoyance later on, but since he is Cross's student, I want to keep an eye on him. He may be connected to that incident."

Road tilted her head slightly to the side. "I want to meet this Allen Walker." A cruel grin formed. "Maybe he can be my new doll."

"No."

All eyes turned to Kanda.

Tyki looked confused. "I thought you didn't like the boy, Yuu. Why not let Road play with him?"

Kanda's golden eyes held a wicked gleam. "Sorry, Road-nee-san, but you'll have to find someone else to be your doll. Allen Walker is mine. I want to be the one to break him."

Road smiled. "Hmm…okay. If it makes Yuu happy, then I won't make Allen my doll. But I still want to meet him."

--

In the morning, Kanda changed back into his exorcist clothing and strapped Mugen to his side. He stepped through Road's door and into the cabin and wrinkled his nose at the stench.

Still in his Noah form, Kanda sent out a call for an akuma. A level two appeared a few minutes later. It looked confused seeing the silver cross upon the coat but didn't dare ask anything.

"Burn the cabin. Make sure there's nothing left but ashes. When you're done, self-destruct."

"Understood, Lord Noah."

It took a few hours, but he found the temple that supposedly housed the Innocence. It appeared to be abandoned. The statue in question was upon a pedestal.

He stood in front of the statue, sensing the Innocence within the stone entrapment. He reached out with his powers and the stone crumbled away revealing the glowing green Innocence.

He held the item in his hand. Innocence. God's crystal.

Too bad he didn't believe in that false God. If he did then maybe he would have cared. Cared enough to bring the Innocence to Hevlaska to be stored.

But he didn't care. So, with another surge of power, the Innocence was reduced to nothing but dust.

_**What now?**_

'We return to the Black Order. We still don't know who holds the player's license.'

_**What about the cursed boy?**_

'I'll play with him to pass the time. The kid no longer has anything dear to him. So, I want to be nice and give him a reason to continue living. I'll slowly worm my way into his heart, and when the time comes when he can no longer live without me, I'll tear away his reason to live. I will break him until there is nothing left but meaningless dust. Like this Innocence of a fake God.'

He walked away from the abandoned temple. There was no reason to look back.

--

I seriously screwed up Kanda when he meets Road. But I can't see him acting like an asshole towards her.

LOL the egg really cracks me up. I don't know why, maybe it's just my screwed up mind but the egg made me laugh. I love the face drawn on it.

I lied last chapter. I'm not going to stick to the manga. I'll eventually get to Noah's Ark and all that but not for a little while. There will definitely be Yullen next chapter. I guarantee it even if I hadn't written it yet. There is a possibility with the way things are playing out in my head that Kanda might end up kinda (or a lot whichever way you look at it) pervy.

And I still have no idea what Kanda's Noah ability should be. Please help me!! *on my knees begging and pleading* Look! I'm getting my virtual pants dirty begging for help. And if I get enough suggestions, I may even throw something kinky into the story…'course, you'd have to tell me what kind of kinky stuff you'd want…so, help anyone? (now if that ain't motivation, I don't know what is)


	3. Chapter 3

Wow, it's been a while since I wrote anything. It's sad that I'm willing to write more when I should be studying or writing my papers instead. Oh, well.

Warnings: language (as usual), shounen-ai, Kanda thinking evil thoughts, etc.

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man. You wouldn't want me to if you ever see my stickmen. I don't know how but they look kind of…let's just say you really don't want to see.

--

Chapter 3

He tilted his head back to take in the sight of the star-studded sky. A crescent moon shone its silver light from the dark background. Trees swiftly swept by, blurs in the night. He leaned a little more onto the railing, enjoying the wind whipping his hair. The Noah breathed a soft sigh and let his mind wander. Even if the train compartment was first class, it still felt cramped and suffocating. He had quickly tired of it and escaped to the back of the train for some fresh air.

Oddly, he felt at peace. For a short while, no one would demand anything of him, and he intended to enjoy the reprieve. The passing scenery wasn't all that bad either. General Tiedoll would probably insist on drawing it.

Kanda grimaced at the thought. He had obviously spent a little too much time around the annoying old man.

But who was worse, Cyril or Tiedoll? The idiot who had a daughter complex when it came to Road and insisted on reading him bedtime stories, or the old man that called him a girl? It took Tiedoll four months to figure out that he was a boy.

The Japanese's hands tightened around the railing, leaving finger-shaped dents. He really didn't want to remember those four torturous months of being called a daughter. And the dresses. Those _fucking dresses._

Kanda growled. Gold flickered in his eyes and a faint outline of crosses became visible for a moment before he could calm himself.

Never again. He would be happy of he never had to look at another dress. And the color pink. How he _loathed_ pink. No. Loathed was too mild a word to describe his disgust of the hellish color. Abhorred? Detested? Repulsed by it?

…Didn't Road like pink? Or was it red? He couldn't remember. Purple? Damn it. Why couldn't everyone just stick to simple black?

On the topic of colors, his mind drifted to silver hair and eyes a few shades darker, one of which had a blood red scar slicing through it. A cursed eye that turned black and red when activated. A dark red arm with a glowing green cross etched onto the back of his hand.

Fake smiles. The kid proved to be a good actor, able to fool the Black Order. But, not good enough. He had seen far too many insincere smiles in his life to be deceived by a fifteen year old. Behind the deceptively cheerful façade, Kanda saw empty eyes, tired and losing hope.

That wouldn't do. It wouldn't be any fun to break someone who was already falling apart. He needed to help the boy rebuild himself, and the easiest way would be to make Allen Walker fall in love with him. A simple task really. The kid needed someone to lean on, to depend on, to look up to, and Kanda was willing to be that person. In secret, of course. He had spent eight years building an unapproachable reputation. He refused to give that up for a beansprout. Doll or not, Allen Walker wasn't _that_ important.

Still, it would be a challenge to get closer to the beansprout and at the same time keep up his reputation. His lips curved into a smirk. Good thing he liked challenges.

His smirk faded into a slight frown as he listened. There were only the sounds of the train and the barely audible noise of distant chatter from the dining cart. He tuned out the unnecessary noises, and silence closed around him. Why was it silent? Kanda's frown deepened. Why was his darker half not speaking? It had always been more than happy to add in random comments. He wondered if his inner Noah was plotting something without his knowledge.

…Noah…Allen Walker and his dormant Noah genes. The Earl didn't mention that during dinner last night. Only the cursed eye that could see akuma.

Did the Earl not know? Or did he want to keep it a secret?

Unnerved at the odd silence of his other half and bothered by the Earl's neglect to mention the beansprout's Noah genes, Kanda spun around, deciding to head back inside.

"Who are you, Allen Walker?"

The words drowned out by the train's passage. The only witnesses were the trees, silent sentinels that would guard the many secrets of the world until the end.

The door closed with a quiet click.

--

Kanda stepped off the boat, glad there was soba within reach again. The sprout should be back as well.

Perhaps he should start off simple and…befriend the beansprout.

…How the hell would one go about befriending people? He didn't know much about forming relationships (The rabbit didn't count since the redhead was a self-declared best friend. What the hell is the difference between a friend and a best friend anyways? It was all the same to him. They were all annoyances in the end.)…if he remembered correctly, didn't Tyki give him a book about relationships? He and the beansprout may not have what anyone would call a _relationship_, but they had _something_ between them.

He racked his mind trying to remember something more specific about the book. Why did Tyki give him the book in the first place?

_(Flashback)_

_10 years ago_

_He had been minding his own business, thinking up new and more creative ways to kill a certain Noah that refused to stop calling him "son," when Tyki stepped into the room._

"_What are you doing, Yuu?"_

_He just shrugged and continued brushing the paint onto the paper in front of him. Really, red was a nice color. A very nice color._

_Curious, Tyki looked over the boy's shoulder. And nearly swallowed his cigarette from shock. "Ahh…Yuu?"_

"_What?"_

"_That is a very…interesting picture. So, who is the unlucky person being stabbed, mauled, and…is he getting beheaded?"_

"_Yeah! And, it's Cyril!"_

_The older Noah cleared his throat, unnerved at the suddenly cheerful tone and manic grin on the young boy's face. "I…see. Well, carry on then. I'll go…do something somewhere else. Bye."_

_Kanda didn't even bother to look up, too focused on adding more red paint to the bloody scene. "Uh-huh. Bye."_

_Two days later, Tyki placed a book into his hand. _

_Blinking at the plain cover sporting a few words in gold ink, Kanda looked up at his brother. "Tyki-ni, what's this?"_

"_It's a book. Maybe you should read it."_

"_What's it about?"_

_Tyki opened his mouth to reply but hesitated. He slowly closed his mouth, looking sheepish. "I didn't even look inside. I saw the title and thought it's something you might need, so tell me about it after you read it. Alright?"_

_Skeptical about the entire thing, Kanda reluctantly nodded._

_The Noah of Pleasure smiled and ruffled the younger one's hair before he left._

_The young Noah sighed and decided to go play in the Ark. Maybe the 14__th__ could tell him what the book was about. It never crossed his mind to open the book himself. _

_Stepping through the white gate, he entered the neat town of Noah's Ark. _

"_Hello? Are you in here?"_

_He waited a few moments before a disembodied voice echoed around him._

"_Yuu. Come in."_

_A doorway materialized in front of Kanda, and he ran through it, excited to be able to play with the 14__th__._

_Out of all the Noah, he was closest to the Musician. He liked spending time with Road, running his fingers through Lulubell's fur when she was in her cat form, learning how to play poker with Tyki, playing with the twins, plotting ways to torment Cyril, and stealing candy from Skin. But, there was something about the 14__th__ that captivated him. The music that came to life as the Musician's fingers moved over the keys of the piano. He often times quickly became bored when playing with the other Noah, but he could spends hours quietly sitting on the white couch listening to the melody the 14__th__ played._

_Perhaps the 14__th__ felt something similar when it came to the Pride of Noah. Kanda was the only one who he allowed to enter his secret piano room. _

_Grinning widely, the young Noah stopped in front of the tall form sitting at the piano. _

_The 14__th__ smiled. "Did something good happen? You're never this cheerful unless you did something you shouldn't have. Did you steal Skin's candy again? I don't understand why you do that. You don't even like sweet things."_

_Kanda shook his head. "I didn't steal anything. Besides, I give all the candy to Jasdevi."_

"_I still don't see the point. They have their own candy. You didn't push Cyril down the stairs again, did you?"_

_Pouting a little, the younger Noah shook his head again. "I didn't push him down the stairs. I kicked him. There's a difference." He held out the hardcover book. "Can you tell me what this is about?"_

_Taking the book, the 14__th__ eyed the gold letters. "Enhancing a Relationship. (I just made up the title, so if there are any books out there with this title, it was purely coincidence and I do not own them.) Where did you get this from?"_

"_Tyki-ni gave it to me."_

"_I see." The 14__th__ opened the book, stared at the page for a moment, and slammed it shut. "Did Tyki look in this before he gave it to you? Knowing him, he probably didn't. Right, Yuu, I want you to promise me that you will not look in this book until you are at least 18 years old. Understand?"_

"_Why?"_

_Ahh, the inquisitive minds of children. The current bane of the Musician's existence. There were worse things out there in the world, but for now in his secret room, he silently cursed the child's curious nature. "Do you promise?"_

_Kanda mentally debated for a minute before he nodded. "Promise. What's it about?"_

"_I'll tell you when you're older."_

"_Promise?"_

"_Yeah."_

_Huffing out a breath, the young Noah let the subject go. _

_2 years later_

_Kanda unhurriedly packed his suitcase. A mission to infiltrate the Dark Order, why couldn't the Earl send someone else? This mission required that he get close to the exorcists, get them to trust him. _

_Riffling through his drawer, his hand hit something hard. Curious, he pulled out the object and stared at the familiar dark hardcover and gold ink. "Tyki's book."_

_Remembering the promise he made to the 14__th__, Kanda snorted. "You're dead so you won't be able to keep your promise to me. Why should I keep my promise to you?"_

_Pushing away memories of the traitor, he put the book into his suitcase and continued packing._

_4 months later_

_Sitting alone in the hotel room, Kanda resisted the urge to destroy everything around him. Fucking old man and his inability to tell the difference between and boy and a girl. _

_He jumped off the bed and pulled his suitcase closer. Listening for any sounds of the exorcists returning, he took off the repulsive thing called a dress and pulled on clothes more fitting for his gender. He tossed the pink thing into a corner and glared at it for a moment. _

_Growing bored, Kanda dug through his case and pulled out the book. He hadn't had time to even look at it for the past several months, and now was the perfect opportunity. _

_Pausing to make sure no one was about to open the door, he hopped onto the bed and opened the book._

_Thus scarring his relatively innocent mind. _

_(End Flashback) _

A shiver slid up his spine just thinking about that damn book. An eight year old had no need to know _anything_ about _that._ And were the illustrations really necessary?

Whatever happened to the book anyway? He couldn't recall seeing it anywhere in his room. Did someone take it?

A dim memory of pure disgust as countless bits of paper and shreds of pink cloth slowly floated down to the ground, Mugen slicing through the air, a horrified Tiedoll, and an unconscious passerby that was hit on the head by the spine of the formerly thick book when he tossed the useless thing out the window.

A dark smirk formed. He got rid of two headaches that day. The perverted book and the disgusting pink thing called a dress.

He nearly got rid of the old man that day, too. Though that effort failed (and he really tried, the old geezer just wouldn't die, damn it), he had finally been recognized as a member of the male gender. So, maybe it was three headaches taken care of within an hour.

Finders and scientists jumped out of his way as Kanda stalked down the corridor.

Right, the beansprout. Forget befriending the sprout. It would be easier to just seduce the little bastard. If the sprout didn't fall in love with him, well too bad. At least he would have a bit of stress relief (that didn't require killing innocent people randomly walking by) for a while.

Besides, didn't the Vatican consider homosexual relationships a sin? Wouldn't they be surprised when they find out their Destroyer of Time committed sodomy with a Noah. Of course, that would be after he shocked them with the fact that he was a Noah and had never really been on their side from the beginning.

Kanda paused in the middle of an empty hallway. Should he eat soba first or go molest a beansprout first? Decisions, decisions.

Why was he even asking? Soba always came first.

He turned the corner and stopped in time to avoid being run over by a large machine. It looked vaguely familiar. Wasn't it the thing that took his soba a few months ago. Didn't he destroy it? Although looking at it more closely, he could see some differences.

Kanda mentally debated if eating soba was worth having to pass by the annoying machine and sleep-deprived scientists waging war with it. He wasn't particularly hungry at the moment, so maybe soba could wait a while longer, until the idiots stopped destroying Headquarters.

Well, if he couldn't have soba, then a certain beansprout would do. In theory, it shouldn't be hard. He just had to find said sprout, drag him to some secluded area (preferably an unused room), and do unspeakable things to him.

As luck would have it, his theory crashed when he caught sight of a head of white hair being chased by the insane machine from the corner of his eyes.

"Che."

Kanda spun around and stalked away.

Screw it. Sleep sounded like a better idea anyway. He could deal with everything tomorrow.

--

Road groaned at the book in her hands. She was bored and homework didn't help matters. "Duke Millennium, when's Yuu coming back? I want to play with him. It's so boring around here."

The Millennium Earl hummed. "Be patient, Road. Yuu-pon hasn't completed his mission yet."

The eldest Noah pouted. "Aww, but he's been gone for eight years. And when he finally visits, he only stayed for a night. He left before I woke up, so I didn't even get to see him off. Why'd you send Yuu? Couldn't you have sent someone else?"

"No, I had to send Yuu-pon. As the Noah of Pride, he is the only one with the ability to sense Noah genes before they awaken. Even I cannot sense that. I can only find new apostles when the signs appear."

"But why send him to the Dark Order? You could have sent him out to find new family members, instead."

"With the player's requirement missing, I needed someone to keep an eye on Cross Marian or at the very least infiltrate the Dark Order. Also, before the 14th betrayed us, he was closest to Yuu-pon. Road, didn't you notice how he avoided all contact with any piano after the 14th's betrayal? Yuu-pon's ability would be more sensitive to the Musician's genes because of the bond he had with the previous one."

A sigh sounded in the still room. "But it's boring here. I want to do something."

The Millennium Earl laughed. "I heard about a rewinding town in Germany. Why don't you go see if Innocence is at work. You know what to do with it, right?"

Road perked up. "Yeah, I know. I can really go?"

"Yes. Take Lero with you. Take your time and have fun, Road."

A pink umbrella with a pumpkin head sprung to life. "Huh? B-B-But, D-Duke Millennium!"

The Noah of Dreams jumped to her feet and hugged the Earl. She snagged the stammering golem out of the air on her way out of the room, radiating excitement. "Thanks so much, Duke Millennium! Yay! Let's go play, Lero."

"Mistress Ro—aghh!"

Road carelessly swung the golem around, all the while laughing. She abruptly stopped and Lero flew into a wall when she accidentally loosened her grip.

"If there are rumors of Innocence, then exorcists will show up. Maybe they'll send Yuu. Or Allen Walker."

She grinned. "I want to meet Yuu's new doll." Looking down at her clothes, she wondered, "Should I dress up for him?"

Making up her mind, Road returned home, where she was immediately grabbed into a hug by Cyril.

"My cute Road! Where are you going?"

"Duke Millennium wanted me to go check something out."

Cyril placed Road down on a chair. "Is it urgent? Can it wait?"

"Uhh…not really. Why?"

Cyril cleared his throat, hating that he was denying Road something. "You have school. Wait until the weekend before going to play."

"But…aww…do I have to?"

He nodded and grabbed her for another hug. "I want my Road to be cute _and _smart."

Pouting, Road reluctantly agreed. Looking on the bright side though, that meant she had more time to pick out what to wear. Cheerful again, Road skipped to her room to dig through her closet.

--

Waking up just before dawn as usual, Kanda grabbed Mugen and went to the training room to meditate. Breathing deeply, he cleared his mind and ignored the complaint from his stomach reminding him that he didn't eat anything the day before. His other half still insisted on staying silent, something that made him slightly uneasy.

Thinking of Noahs, it had been years since he had spared a thought for the 14th. Sure his mission was to find the Musician's requirement, but he had refused to think of the actual Noah.

Was it merely coincidence that the sprout had the same last name as the 14th and had memories yet to awaken?

Feeling a headache forming, Kanda cut off his rampant thoughts and began meditating.

Half an hour into his meditation, the slight creaking of the door alerted him of an intruder.

"Oh, Kanda!"

He instantly recognized the voice. Well, that saved him some time. At least he wouldn't have to go hunt down his new doll, not when it came straight to him. Keeping his eyes closed, he addressed the teen. "What do you want, Beansprout?"

He heard and annoyed huff. "It's Allen. And do you know where the mess hall is? I can't seem to find it."

"Che."

"You don't have to be so rude."

Hearing the annoyed tone, Kanda smirked. "No, I don't have to be. I choose to be, Beansprout."

"My name is Allen. And here I thought you were intelligent enough to pronounce two syllables. I suppose I was wrong. Forgive my assumptions."

"Want to die, Moyashi?"

"Moya-what? Are you insulting me again?"

"Can your brain not comprehend the intended insult?"

"You…you…ugh. Do you really have to act like this? We're comrades aren't we?"

Shrugging slightly, Kanda considered his next words. Getting close to the beansprout would be harder than he expected. They wouldn't get anywhere if an argument ensued every time they saw each other. "And how exactly are comrades supposed to act towards one another then, Moyashi? Why should I care if I'm sent on most of my missions alone?"

A short silence met his questions.

"Even if you get sent on missions alone, there are still comrades waiting for you to come home. There are people who worry about you. You would be able to see that if you stopped glaring and snapping at every kind gesture."

He couldn't keep the mocking tone out of his voice. "Che. And how would you know how I act? Have you been watching me, Moyashi? See something you like?"

He heard an odd sound somewhere between choking, laughing, and coughing.

"Did I hit the mark, Sprout?"

"You…I don't understand you. You're cruel. You push everyone away. I'm trying to be nice and you just shove everything back in my face. Shouldn't you at least try to make an effort to open up to other people?"

"No."

Even from across the room, he could feel the anger radiating from the white haired teen. That barely leashed fury directed at him sparked something inside of him. Made his heart beat faster. Made his lungs greedily gulp down more air. His smirk twisted into a dark grin. Not from fear but from exhilaration. It seemed, playing with the sprout would be more fun that he first thought.

"Sometimes, I can't help but hate you."

The boy's voice was soft but filled with emotion.

Kanda opened his eyes, taking in the sight of the teen in front of him. Tousled white hair going every which way, narrowed silver-gray eyes, pursed lips, cheeks tinged with pink.

This way would be infinitely better. Who knew the boy was capable of hate? As weak as the hatred was, the boy still had a seed of dark emotions in his fragile heart. He wanted to tend that tiny seed. Plant it in the boy's doubt and pain. Warm it with the light of the boy's burning anger and self-disgust. Water it with the boy's shame and resentment. He could use this newfound knowledge to hurt his new doll. To abuse the already breaking soul. It would be much more satisfying to make the boy hate him. Hate him but still return for more. Getting to his feet in a graceful movement, he moved towards the cursed boy.

Allen backed away as Kanda came closer. Not just walking since the movements of the lithe form were too fluid and predatory to be called such a mundane thing as walking. No, he took another step backwards as the vision of animalistic grace continued to _stalk_ forward. Feeling distinctly like the prey, Allen's back hit the closed door, breath catching in his throat as the Japanese stopped before him. A hand curled into the front of his shirt and pulled him forward. Closer to the handsome face cruelly grinning at him with glittering eyes promising forbidden sins in the dark.

"Then I'll make you hate me even more."

The voice like black silk sent a chill down his spine as warm breath fanned over his lips with every word the Asian spoke. Then his world blurred as their lips met in a heated moment.

--

Yullen! There will be more next chapter (fortunately or unfortunately depending on your tastes, next chapter will have non-con or at the very least semi-non-con)…if I ever get around to writing it.

I'm thinking of writing a one shot for Valentine's Day. I have an idea floating around in my cluttered brain. I just need to fish it out in the next few days and put it into the computer. I doubt I'll get it up in time, so it will probably be late. Things to do, papers to procratinate on and all that.

And just to clarify, in the flashback, Tiedoll walked into the room while Kanda was in the middle of going sword happy on the book and the dress. Th General has no idea what the book was about. Sadly, Tyki doesn't either. He really should look at what he gives little kids before actually giving anything.


End file.
